Are you off to the Moon soon? Then you will need to know about the Nunks.

Nunks have spinal columns stuffed with old bits of wire, magic dust that doesn’t work and rosemary.

They wear rimless specs because they think it is fashionable. It isn’t. It’s also odd because they have no head eyes.

Nunks look like hairy cabbages. They taste like them as well although to eat one wouldn’t be something you’d do on a first visit. Get to know them first. It’s polite to ask a Nunk if you can eat one. If they like the look of you then they won’t mind.

Nunks always drink a glass of creativity before bedtime because it helps them to sleep and have amazing dreams. They can drink too much sometimes and they spend a lot of the night weeing rainbows.

Nunks have the inability to read instructions which means they are rubbish at cooking and making wardrobes. They haven’t a clue.

Every day is a bad hair day for a Nunk and this is something that will be immediately obvious to you when you see one. They blame the windy conditions in Crater 73, hard water and the shortage of decent shampoo to wash their hair with. We can’t argue with this as most tourists leave with hair like a Nunk.

Nunks like to spend their time spreading graffiti and tourists are their favourite targets so watch your back…and your front.

Nunks count square rectangles and circles as their best friends. They tolerate scalene triangles but find irregular pentagons hard to get on because they burp prime numbers which can be a bit gassy. Hexagons say Nunks are trouble-makers who sneeze inside their dreams and stick potatoes in the exhaust pipes of their cars. Nunks deny all charges.

Nunks are obsessive about health and hygiene and will ask you whether you have washed your hands after visiting the toilet. They won’t eat anywhere with a hygiene rating of less than 500.


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