Cancer And Gaman

If you have the ability to persevere and tolerate things that are unexpected or bad, difficult to get through then you display gaman.

Gaman is the art of perseverance and to patiently push through. This Japanese term  is about enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity. It is perseverance and resilience beyond comfort.

In cancer terms, you need loads of gaman. There is so much to cope with it can send your mind to mush. It’s time consuming, stressful and confusing.

Unless, of course you set your mind into gaman mode.

My interpretation of this Japanese term is to bear up, endure, weather the storm and hang in there. It’s the radical acceptance of reality. Sometimes things simply have to be endured – maybe for weeks, maybe for years.

There have been so many times during my cancer treatments that I have had to reply completely on myself to go the distance and get through some pretty torrid times. And to accept what is happening. Sometimes the pain just has to be borne.

Doing your best in times of high distress requires considerable spirit, self-control and discipline and I do not pretend for a second that I was always successful in applying a gaman mindset. On occasions, I’d feel like crumbling as endurance and patience would start to desert me.

But a daily application of gaman is essential in helping you cope with everything the cancer experience throws at you. It makes you remarkably gritty and resilient.

Cancer is a disease that is trying to stop us physically but our mindset in all of this has to be unstoppable.

As cancer patients, we don’t have to stoically deal with every situation that comes our way but it does help to develop a high level of patience and endurance. The irony is, patients aren’t renown for being patient.

Learning to gaman as a cancer patient takes some doing. You will have to endure long waits and these can be unsettling. There’s lots of waiting. And even more waiting.

For example, here in the UK, waiting for your CT scan to be reported on can take weeks and weeks. The longest I’ve waited for one is just over 3 months which of course is outrageous. I think this is where I learned most of my gaman skills.

Gaman can sound heroically stoic in the best True Brit Grit style of stiff upper lipness but it doesn’t entirely equate to putting up, shutting up and just getting on with things.

No, there is still room for complaining, standing your ground, championing your cause and getting heard.

Gaman is definitely not resignation and it does not mean being a passive patient. This is not waving the white flag, suffering in silence or throwing in the towel.

Rather, it is a demonstration of spirit and strength in the face of extreme challenge and adversity. You can display dignity, patience and radical acceptance whilst combining it with resistance and being pro-active. It can actually help foster a strong sense of purpose, discipline and maintain our focus.

Radical acceptance and gaman go together. We cannot control so many parts of a health crisis including the ordinary and mundane aspects that go with it but we can control our emotional responses to those adversities and challenges. It is acceptance of life as it is.

Feelings of bitterness, anger and resentment are self-destructive and won’t get us anywhere. They aren’t great for healing and can lead us to breakdown.

Cancer and cancer treatment requires a high degree of self-control and not fighting endlessly with everything and everyone. We have to pick our battles, manage negative emotions and endure with grace for the rest of the time.

A gaman mindset helps us to maintain a positive attitude, handle setbacks and obstacles and persevere through challenges. It helps us develop the mental toughness and resilience we need to cope with cancer and bearing the unbearable.

It has been said that life is hard but suffering is optional. True to an extent but gaman can help. We’ve just got to gaman it.