The Hairy Ha-Ha

Yes, I know what you are thinking.

What on earth is that?

There is no way of knowing for sure whether it is from Earth but it was found on a morning walk with my dog Hetty.

There it was, minding its own business and quite still. In fact, it didn’t move a jot. Hetty gave it a good sniff and I was concerned she might try to pick it up but she didn’t. She just gave it a tentative nudge.

Then all of a sudden, it made a funny squeaking noise and shot-off at a thundering pace across a sizeable stretch of turf and disappeared into a bush next to the woods.

At this point of course, Hetty went barking mad and tried to chase it down but I had her on her lead so she didn’t get very far (although she just about pulled my arm off in the process).

I had the presence of mind to take a photo of this intriguing creature before everything kicked off and I’m so glad I did because the situation went from 0-60 in a second.

Hetty remained on red alert for the rest of the day as you can see here:

I put an appeal out on Twitter to ask my followers what they thought this furry ball was and I received an impressive list of suggestions including:

• A wild hairy haggis
• Tribble
• Hairbrained Snitterball
• A baby Cousin Itt from The Addams Family
• A toupée
• Naugas
• North American Porcupine
• Long haired guinea pig
• Dwarf bunny
• Hippy jellyfish

This caused a lot of puzzlement and some folks were concerned that Hetty has disturbed something out of hibernation. Hetty was not to blame!

So what is this ambulatory ball of fur?

A complete stroke of luck happened one morning. I was off pond-dipping and so had my net with me and nestled in some reeds along the water’s edge, there it was! It might not have been the same one but it was certainly very similar.

I seized my opportunity, carefully place my net over the top of it and bingo!

Don’t worry, I was very careful with it and far from being distraught or anything, the creature just sort of let out a sigh.

I made my way to the local university where a friend of mine works in one of the biology labs there.

She was gobsmacked to see me and why wouldn’t she because I was effectively bringing her an early Christmas present.

She agreed to examine it straight away along with a couple of colleagues.

I was present throughout the whole examination and believe me, they were very careful with it. The creature seemed to enjoy all the attention and never stopped giving out these delightful little laughs.

After just 20 minutes, they had all scans and blood tests they needed and I was instructed to release it back into the wild and back to the same spot where I had found it. I did.

My friend said it would take around a week to get the results and sure enough, 7 days later she was able to tell me without a shadow of a doubt that this magnificent specimen is…….

The Hairy Ha-Ha!

I just couldn’t take this in!

The Hairy Ha-Ha is a very rare creature indeed although often mistaken for a wild haggis. It’s also very similar looking to The Honk of South America where it has been spotted in the mountains of Chile and Argentina.

The Hairy Ha-Ha is actually one of the UK’s most elusive woodland creatures and was thought to have been wiped in during the reign of Henry VIII.

Well, the data is something to behold and I’m so pleased to share it with you today as follows:

• Optimism output: 8
• Hope factor: 6
• Ability to bring chortles: 10
• Positive vibes: 9
• Backbone: 5
• Mojo: 7.5
• Special power: Self-deprecating humour

These numbers are quite astounding for such a delicate ball of fluff. Unfortunately, I’m unable to share the scans and other information as these have to be kept secret.

However, since this data was made public, I have been contacted by a few followers who have shared their thoughts and told me about other creatures that simply must be related.

@DSlater14682199 says: “Rivalled only by the Hedgerow he-he and found in remote corners of the South West, but spreading steadily . His chuckle muscle is so highly tuned and fast moving a photograph is nigh on impossible to date.”

@LizKirb86848524 says: “Cripes for one moment I thought it was the rarely spotted Hairy Hoo Haa which of course as you know is quite a different beast all together and needs to be avoided at all costs.”