165 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About The Moon

How much do you really know about the Moon?

If you are thinking about visiting the Moon then the following facts will certainly come in handy.

  1. A starving Moon sentence will eat its own words to stay alive.
  2. Dinner plates on the Moon have mouths on them. They eat anything you leave and will lick the plate clean.
  3. Moon people are always losing their voices. They tend to hide in cracks, under rocks or under carpets.
  4. Large seagulls with oxygen tanks strapped to their backs can be found flying above Crater 452.
  5. Moon cats have one eye that is yellow and another eye that is green, red or transparent.
  6. Zebra crossings on the Moon have flashing white stripes.
  7. Some things float on the Moon. Some things sink. Some do neither.
  8. A lot of the Moon’s electrical power comes from vegetables.
  9. The Moon orbits the Earth but the hemispheres of the Moon rotate in different directions.
  10. Moon trees bark. So do Moon squirrels.
  11. Some Moon people will hold their chins with their left hands because they are worried their heads will roll off.
  12. Moon people love eating oranges. They also like eating yellows, reds and browns but not greens.
  13. The head of a nail contains very little oxygen.
  14. Moon sand traps can swallow themselves.
  15. Moon Mirrors are expensive and come with a bad luck guarantee of 700 years if cracked and 4900 years if smashed.
  16. The Bunkum Bird was made extinct 50 years before it was born to save time.
  17. A Moonslide of tumbling polyhedrons killed 198 Moon echoes in 1432.
  18. The Moon has colossal natural resources and is the solar system’s largest exporter of ideas and dreams.
  19. 85% of Moon people can tie shoelaces with one hand. The other 15% wishes they could.
  20. It is illegal to talk to doors on the Moon.
  21. Moon water is purified in the reflection of Moon mirrors.
  22. Moon people all share the same DNA but everyone has a different tongue-print.
  23. Crater 30 is 21,000km wide and 12km deep. It is home to the magical Moonfish.
  24. Vegetables on the Moon can scream.
  25. One of the best-selling chocolate bars on the Moon is called Plop-Plop.
  26. Moon robots get arthritis in the shoulder but nowhere else.
  27. All Moon people can write with one hand and draw with the other.
  28. Moon people like jumping through cobwebs and feathers.
  29. Every Moon puddle tells a story.
  30. Every day on the Moon is a Monday. Every day on the Moon is also a bad hair day.
  31. There is a café on the Moon called T-Minus 10.
  32. The distance a Moon cow’s moo travels is used as a unit of measurement on the Moon.
  33. The force of a Moon brainwave is enough to lift 500 elephants off the ground.
  34. Moon people are born with six toes on their left foot and seven on their right.
  35. The lunar floor bounces like a drum skin every 55 minutes.
  36. Moon spiders hear through their eyes.
  37. One of the most popular games on the Moon is cube chasing.
  38. There is a hotel in Crater Croaker in the shape of a Martian elephant. The hotel has its reception area in its bottom accessed via a ladder.
  39. Stepping stones on the Moon are psychic.
  40. There are 336 Moons in the solar system.
  41. Moon women are born with two hearts and men with only one.
  42. The oldest piece of chewing gum in the solar system can be found on the Moon.
  43. Miracle bags that don’t work have holes in them and all the magic leaks out.
  44. Smelling Moon oranges helps you lose weight.
  45. If Moon people want to make their hair stick up they use Bisk dung.
  46. Moon shadows can cast shadows of their own.
  47. The Moon used to be covered in a layer of Quint, a sort of gritty purple oil that belched.
  48. You weigh more at the Equator than you do at the Poles of the Moon.
  49. A Moon goldfish has a memory of 300 years.
  50. The Moon has gravity hotspots. Gravity in Zones 45-90 is stronger than anywhere else on the Moon. If gravity is strong it slows down the ageing process which is why most people want to move to this part of the Moon.
  51. Moon people see musical notes and numbers as colours.
  52. For 2 weeks every month Moon mirrors are pointed at the Sun so the Sun receives its own energy. This is to stop the Sun burning itself out too soon.
  53. Ancient Moon people used to call Earth ‘The Sphere of Influence’.
  54. Moonbows are like rainbows but they are pure white. At the end of a Moonbow you will find a pot of mould.
  55. Nodding your head and shaking your head both mean ‘no’ on the Moon.
  56. Moon crickets make a yodelling sound when angry.
  57. Zebras are not allowed to use zebra crossings.
  58. There is plenty of evidence of life having existed before Moon people. In 2010 the fibula of a Moon gorilla was found in the Lost Crater of Hum dating back 450,000 years. Other items found around the Moon include broken Moon mirrors, wishing spheres, solar tables, a Martian compass, an eel jar, a lunar pulse and a perfectly preserved eagle tortoise.
  59. Moon bananas are pink and they are furry inside and out. They are called gloobers.
  60. Toenail jam is a delicacy on the Moon.
  61. Moon gunk thrown out of volcanoes is called ejectasplush.
  62. Moon Gasbags are little blue creatures the size of golf balls that explode on their 3rd Look but don’t touch as they are poisonous.
  63. Peanut butter is banned on the Moon.
  64. If Moon people want to speak to a Lop-Lop bird they put one of their hands around their throat. Their own throat that is, not the bird’s.
  65. The Moon experiences about 2,000 storms in a teacup every day.
  66. The Moon used to have 13 days in a week, 6 weeks in a month and 18 months in a year but this was unpopular and was abandoned after five thousand centuries.
  67. The Moon Corridor of Yorick has 1,500 doors each one leading to a holomatrix theatre where visitors can pay to enter any time zone in Earth history for 60 minutes.
  68. If all the Moon people on the Moon stood shoulder to shoulder they would fit inside Crater 29.
  69. Sea cucumbers have no common sense. They also have no control over their feet.
  70. Mummified frogs store Moon secrets.
  71. The favourite pizza toppings on the Moon are Ligwhipple eggs and Moon camel eyelashes.
  72. Moon children can conduct an entire conversation with each other simply by whistling.
  73. Every 45 seconds, someone on the Moon stubs their toe.
  74. The average Moon person has 1200 dreams per day.
  75. 800,000 tons of Moon Dog excrement is collected every year from the streets of the Moon.
  76. Moon people can walk and talk underwater.
  77. The average 4 year old Moon child asks over 4000 questions a day but only about 20 of those are actually spoken. The rest are spoken in silence in their minds.
  78. Moon people dream in a different language.
  79. Blind dolphins on the Moon can hear other dolphins on Earth if they are in distress.
  80. Jellyfish on the Moon are older than the Moon itself.
  81. Moon zebras can change their stripes to spots when angry.
  82. Ideas born on the Moon sometimes need an anchor to keep them grounded.
  83. Moon people like to lick the past, tickle the present and smell the future.
  84. Moon people do not chew their food. They swallow all food whole which is then broken down in three separate stomachs.
  85. The Moon was awarded 5 Star Status by the Milky Way Guide.
  86. Some ‘startists’ use Moonpuff dung as paint.
  87. The life expectancy of a Moon nightmare is 9 days.
  88. The water inside a Moon coconut tastes of chocolate.
  89. The Moon pancake dog has a horizontal body made of flattened microchips.
  90. Moon bogmuts can move 20m in one picosecond (one-trillionth of a second)
  91. The Lunar Zoo in Crater 22 is home to extinct Earth animals that have been reborn using DNA-XY technology. Here you will find African Quaggas, Tasmanian Tigers, Sea Cows, Jamaican Rice-Rats, Aurochs, Great Auks, Megatoothed Sharks, Dodos, Woolly Rhinos, and Elephant Birds. The Zoo is not open to the public and is heavily protected by Shields of Stink.
  92. There are two dozen secret zig-zagging rivers that flow beneath the Moon.
  93. Moon people have chocolate sauce on chicken.
  94. It is illegal to cross the equator with a Moon duck on your left shoulder.
  95. A museum in the Tremble Crater is made entirely of Jigster bones imported from Venus.
  96. The most popular girl’s names used to be named after galaxies. Tadpole, Sunflower and Pinwheel were all very fashionable 900 centuries ago.
  97. February 1865 is the only month in Earth’s history not to have a full moon. We forgot.
  98. There is a crater on the Moon called Iffy.
  99. Moon fish suffer from seasickness.
  100. Moon people can taste with their feet.
  101. A Moon scorpion can sleep for six years.
  102. A Moon owl can twit but not twooo.
  103. Female Moon people have blue blood with pink blood cells to fight infection. Moon males have pink blood and blue blood cells to fight infection.
  104. Moon apples taste like oranges.
  105. A Moon person’s burp can last for 15 seconds.
  106. On the Moon the word attic means cellar and the word basement means loft.
  107. Knowledge mountains can be found everywhere on the Moon. They start off as molehills and grow as people leave bits of what they know on top of them when passing by.
  108. If you multiply 12345 by 6 on the Moon then you get a headache.
  109. There are about 1,200 Nitch Flippers in the air around the Moon at any one time.
  110. False teeth are made from old microchips and horse hair.
  111. The first Moon person in space was Virtual Bob.
  112. Space ladders were invented on the Moon 300 years ago.
  113. Until 1689 it was considered unlucky to eat with a fork in your left hand.
  114. Moon people that don’t like a building will buy it so they don’t have to look at it.
  115. Moon people don’t need sunglasses as their eyes contain smoky quartz that filter harmful rays and convert light energy into ideas.
  116. Pens will spin like helicopter blades when they are ready to write.
  117. Underground firework displays are held twice a year below Crater 300.
  118. Some paragraphs get wordsick because they eat too many punctuation marks.
  119. Footballs aren’t what you think they are. They are little balls of cheese that live between cheesy toes.
  120. It is forbidden to break silence in Crater 4 by breaking wind.
  121. If you gently stroke a Kippy-Kup’s fur then you fingers will smell of tulip dreams.
  122. Moon people always turn left when they walk out of a superstition.
  123. A Moon Cat’s heart beats five times faster than a Moon rock can think.
  124. Some types of paper are allergic to pencil.
  125. Moon people have special radiators in their heads that heat up their brains when they get cold.
  126. A hole on the Moon puts on weight in the dark.
  127. The Plink and the Plonk are the only two Moon mammals that can play chess.
  128. Moon children hate the smell of Waterproof Melons.
  129. The Atlas Bird vomits directions and grid references when unwell.
  130. Moon people can sleep whilst doing a handstand.
  131. Moon Sheep knit their own clothes.
  132. A bright idea can live for 15 years before going flat.
  133. Burps can be translated by hiccups so be careful what you say.
  134. All lamp posts on the Moon can hear. They also get indigestion.
  135. Moon people are right- or left-kneed.
  136. Moon dolphins have been trained to rescue lost dreams and seek out underwater claps.
  137. Mashed potato mountains can be found inside Crater 19.
  138. White Moon Hens lay red eggs with blue yolks.
  139. Ancient Moon people used to rub garlic on their shoes because they thought their soul could escape from their soles.
  140. Moon people can spit a whole apple 10m.
  141. Peacock breath is used as a fertiliser in some parts of the Moon.
  142. There are no tea bags in Crater 59.
  143. The Museum of Old Stuff in Crater 219 has a collection of over 5,000 different types of computer.
  144. Moon people love eating popcorn but the smell makes them sick so they wear pegs on their noses.
  145. Slicing an idea in half and spreading it with mental butter is not allowed in Zones 678-709.
  146. The Moon has a bagpipe graveyard in the Northern hemisphere.
  147. Moon people can tell your age by looking at one of your thumbprints.
  148. The Moon receives over 1 billion messages a day from space and they are all in code we don’t understand.
  149. Some Moon people are born with fingers as toes and toes as fingers. Try not to stare.
  150. Moon Caterpillars are afraid of curtains.
  151. There are no electronic hoots in the SeeSaw Crater.
  152. It is illegal to own a Yellow pencil in the Red Crater.
  153. Telephone books on the Moon don’t exist on the Moon because many people don’t have names.
  154. In the Northern Hemisphere you can tap-dance. In the Southern Hemisphere you can’t.
  155. Dropping a book on the Moon is disrespectful. The words can also escape.
  156. All Moon ideas float in water.
  157. A Twozzle opener was invented 150 years before a Twozzler.
  158. All Nimpy-Wickawoomps are colour blind when they are born.
  159. Buildings spring out of the ground like plants and we never know where or when they will appear.
  160. After the Oxygen Revolution, all language sandwiches had to contain low calorie vowels.
  161. A Warbler Fly is able to smudge a Moon Cuckoo’s coo-coo call just by staring at it.
  162. The Southern Tip-Top has a giant lighthouse with 16 enormous light cones inside it that feed off space darkness.
  163. Moon people don’t trust socks.
  164. Counting down is not as popular as counting up on the Moon.
  165. Moon mangoes contain ice marbles in their centre that are impossible to melt.

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