You’ve read Part One of my ABCs Of Cancer and you’ve read Part Two of my ABCs Of Cancer.
Here’s Part Three of my ABCs Of Cancer!
A is for anger. You will feel angry and that’s okay, it’s a valid, normal and useful emotion – it’s what you do with it that matters. Get it out of your system and go for a rage walk, it’s better than smashing a window!
B is for breathe. Breathe possibility. You are still here and so keep taking breaths. Inhale hope with every breath and if you get the chance, be a little bit breath-taking.
C is for carpe noctem. We are so busy ‘carpe dieming’ and harvesting the day that we forget to save some energy so we can carpe noctem and seize the night too.
D is for doing. The way you ‘do’ cancer is up to you. If you want to ‘do’ cancer by wing-walking, bungee jumping or sitting on a nice comfy sofa watching TV all day, that’s your choice and if that offends others then so be it. Do cancer according on your own terms and conditions. Don’t let anyone who hasn’t been in your shoes tell you how to tie your shoelaces.
E is for elbows. Good things do not come to those who wait. They come to those with sharp elbows. Sometimes cancer requires us to communicate with sharp elbows when it comes to pursuing personalised care and improving quality of life outcomes. Being a patient with elbows creates space for your own voice.
F is for feet. When you get a cancer diagnosis then it can be quite a while before you find your feet. So what do you do to quell all those fears, insecurities and doubts? Putting your best foot forward is always a good move. This is when your podiatry training really kicks in!
G is for gaman. In cancer terms, you need loads of gaman. This Japanese term is about enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity. It is perseverance and resilience beyond comfort, bearing up, enduring, weathering the storm and hanging in there.
H is for hope. Stand on the balcony of hope and you’ll see a horizon of possibilities. Hope can scoop us up, it can help us mentally reboot and it can grow a mentality of optimism and positivity despite the odds looking bleak. It is both a shield and a sword.
I is for inspire. When we share positivity, optimism and hope, we can use our motivational words to restore, rouse and rejuvenate. They can make others feel all sparkly. What you say to someone might just make their day and move their thinking in a whole new direction. It could lift their spirits and give them a real spring in their step.
J is for journey. Cancer is not an oncological odyssey and even if it was, you’d have no hesitation giving it ‘zero stars’ on Trustpilot. It is a slog and the mother of all struggles. It’s blood, sweat, vomit, tears and fears all the way. It is the ultimate glitch in the matrix, a hole in your patchwork, a spanner in your works. But we have to deal with it.
K is for kitchen sink. When you are in a pickle, sometimes you have to throw the kitchen sink at a problem. Cancer is one of those kitchen sink ‘go all in’ situations. We can’t hold back and hope for the best. We need the cavalry and the cavalry to the cavalry.
L is for lost. When you get a cancer diagnosis, it’s common to go into freefall. You feel incredibly lost and lonely and your internal compass can spin wildly as fear shreds your navigational brain to pieces. Then things start to slow down and you find your composure. You find yourself by getting lost. You begin to realise that you are not really lost but just in a place you don’t recognise. Let yourself adapt to your new surroundings and get used to the space you now occupy.
M is for morale. Keeping your morale in an upright position is your responsibility, no one else’s – you are the Chief Morale Officer and your main tasks are to:
- Grow your enthusiasm
- Upgrade your thinking
- Carry a Duchenne smile
- Be your own cheerleader
- Generate hope
- Convey an abundance of warmth
- Lift yourself up
- Find the silver lining
- Pulsate positivity
- Be a catalyst of optimism
N is for never. Tell someone that they “will never walk again” and watch them 2 years later running a marathon. Now tell someone they have incurable cancer – do you think they are just going to give up on the spot? Never! We can all beat the odds, people do it all the time.
O is for Operation Asset. You are your biggest asset and Operation Asset is all about asset management:
- Big yourself up
- Champion your own value
- Be your biggest self-advocate
- Give yourself a pat on the back
- Feed yourself positives
- Speak highly of yourself to yourself
- Sing your own praises
- Give yourself three cheers
- Kudize yourself
- Celebrate your little wins (and your big ones too)
- Maximise your value
- Increase your mental wealth
P is for prophylactic. Prophylactic, or preventive, healthcare has an important role in helping us stay healthy. The word prophylactic comes from the Greek for “an advance guard” and optimism (and the positive thinking and hope that flows from it) is surely the best advance party we have.
Q is for qui vive. Being on the lookout for danger goes with the cancer territory. We have to have unparalleled vigilance and be watchful for any changes to our bodies. Cancer means it can be exhausting living on the qui vive all of the time but as Argus-eyed optimists, we are especially skilled at looking for and spotting hope, happiness and high spirits
R is for Rio. You’ve got a choice. You can face your cancer head on or take a one-way flight to Rio de Janeiro, check in at the Copacabana Palace, immerse myself in the samba-driven carnival of excess and dance till dawn. But perhaps you don’t have to go that far. Being on this planet is a full-time Rio Festival but some us haven’t grasped that yet – we are already walking the carnival and we are surrounded by a cacophony of colours and sounds.
S is for self-congratulation. Cancer is hard work and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for all that you are doing. Never feel shy at awarding yourself a bouquet of compliments. You are your own silent disco of personal praise!
T is for tizita. This is an Amharic word that means a bittersweet remembrance and longing for a time, person, or thing gone by. Cancer survivors will know this feeling well. To mourn a time gone by is a normal part of human life but with a serious illness, these memories and a longing to be back in healthier and happier times is a nostalgic trip fraught with difficulties.
U is for unflappable. You will flap and you will flail. But you can talk yourself into being unbeatable, undaunted, unbroken and unflappable if you put your mind to it and make it a habit. Try it and see!
V is for vitality. When we are ‘vital’, we experience a sense of enthusiasm, aliveness, vigour and positive energy. It’s when we display our spark and our mojo is all present and correct strutting its stuff. It’s the va-va-voom factor. Cancer can rob us of our vitality….but not forever. We can get our zip, zing, zest and zeal back albeit with a tremendous amount of hard work.
W is for words. When people find out that you have cancer they can be lost for words. Those that do make conversation often don’t know what to say, how to say it or when to say it because cancer is an unavoidably ‘awkward’ topic to broach. Talking about cancer is tough and some people will mess it up, including us. There is no rule book and there can be no ‘approved’ list of things to say.
X is for X-factor. You have it. If you are going through this then you definitely have it because of the exceptional effort it takes to get up and do what it takes.
Y is for yenful. You will have a longing and a craving for normality but what actually is that? Doc Holliday probably said it better in the film Tombstone, “There’s no normal life, Wyatt. There’s just life. Now get on with it.”
Z is for zestful. Cancer will leave you feeling knackered but keep active as it is the surest way to get your zesty ways back in the game. This is about giving life some gas, gusto and ginger even when you really don’t feel like it – you’ll be glad you tried!