When you get an incurable cancer diagnosis, it’s common to go into freefall.
I certainly did. I was terrified and the fear was real.
I also felt incredibly lost and lonely. My internal compass was spinning wildly and fear was shredding my navigational brain to pieces.
But then something strange happened.
Things started to slow down and I regained my composure. I don’t know how that happened but it did. I decided it was time to fend for myself and just find my way.
You find yourself by getting lost.
Feeling mentally lost is a discombobulating experience but it’s the moment you experience real change and a major psychological shift for the better.
Getting lost to find yourself gives you a golden opportunity to discover who you are and what you are capable of.
Getting lost is not the end of the world because you are still very much part of it!
You don’t have to have a cancer diagnosis to feel lost. We can feel lost for lots of different reasons and the same principle applies: use the situation to find yourself.
Feeling mentally lost is a universal human experience. For example, getting lost in your career or relationships is commonplace but these situations provide us with important lessons to pause and ask more questions and look within ourselves for new ideas and approaches.
Getting lost in thought can be a good thing!
Being lost and in a state of uncertainty feels horribly uncomfortable because the safety nets we are used to aren’t there.
Obsessed with being in control, none of us likes to feel like we don’t have the wheel so panic can start to well up inside.
But you are your own ‘Lost & Found’ department and things will right themselves.
Being lost can be liberating if we don’t panic. Trust your instincts.
In the present you feel presence, you take stock and you make decisions. This can lead to greater flexibility, creativity and insight.
Having a serious illness might be the beginning of a remarkable journey of self-discovery. It was for me but this didn’t happen overnight. There was a lot of soul-searching and wandering around in what appeared to be a wilderness.
But I realised that I was not really lost. I was just in a place I didn’t recognise and I needed to adapt to my new surroundings and get used to where I was. I had to learn what to do in the moment rather than reaching out for others to help. I had to figure out for myself what the options were and roll the die.
Getting lost is the new found.
So, get lost, you might just save yourself.
One thing is certain – if you get lost and you lose your bearings, you’ll never be lost for words.