Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.
A witty observation from the humourist Erma Bombeck is spot on, we rock back and forth with worry.
Most of us are natural born worriers.
Worry is what we do. If we have nothing to worry about then we worry about that.
Quite a bit of what we worry about never actually happens and that’s a lot of wasted energy.
As a worrier, you fight yourself and it’s exhausting.
When someone says, “Try not to worry!”, this doesn’t really help matters.
To ‘stop worrying’ isn’t like pressing a switch or turning a tap. If only it were that simple.
When you have cancer the worry never leaves you.
True, some things aren’t worth worrying about but cancer is a biggie so the worry is real and it’s a constant.
Cancer takes over and overwhelms you, it’s all you can think about and so naturally you worry about it to the point of obsession. The worry is etched into our faces and believe me, this is no oil painting.
Clearly, this can’t be good for us. It isn’t good for us. Who wants to be tense on a full-time basis? No one.
The problem with worrying is that it makes matters worse. You start to fret, you overthink, your heart races, you catastrophise and you get yourself more and more wound up. Getting bogged down in the negatives is just one big swamp of pessimism.
This is a disaster because it fills your headspace with tension and there is no let-up. You keep thinking about what might happen and lose focus on the ‘what-ifs’.
When you hear the word ‘incurable’ you worry yourself into the ground because a future doesn’t seem even remotely possible.
But there is a future.
There’s the next 5 minutes.
There’s the next hour.
There’s the next day.
Oh, and in my case, there’s the next four years! Yes, that’s right. I was told I had 2 months and here I am, alive and doing well!
There is a fine line between being a worrier and a warrior but it’s just a question of having the right vowel movements.
Focus on those vowels as there is nothing worse than Irritable Vowel Syndrome (IVS)!
That’s right, move them around and you can easily transform yourself. You can go from fragile to anti-fragile and yes, still be vulnerable.
Homing in on the positive variables is the warrior way and it can be done.
Okay, this is no easy fix and doesn’t happen overnight.
I used to worry like mad when I was first diagnosed with incurable cancer. It was unbearable. I’d see life going on all around me and I just felt like a spectator. I’d gone from being an active participant in life to just watching from the side-lines. Life was slipping away from me.
But then I resolved pretty quickly that I couldn’t wallow in my own grief and mourn my own life whilst I was still alive!
I didn’t want my nearest and dearest to see me contorted in mental anguish and projecting pessimism, I wanted them to see me staying positive and fighting my way out of a terrible situation. I had to be a positive role model for them and for me.
To do this I had to face the fear of death head-on. This was a very real possibility for me given the situation I found myself in: chemotherapy hadn’t worked and my cancer was growing. I had to fight that fear.
I also had to let go of the things I couldn’t control. I had to distract myself. I had to try and still keep fit and healthy despite everything. I had to reward myself.
I didn’t give up. I had to pour my heart and soul into believing that I was not about to go.
Radiotherapy bought me more time and zapped the golf-ball sized tumour in my neck.
I took strength from this despite overwhelming pain like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life.
Then I started immunotherapy and I responded to that. This bought me more time once again.
I started to shift my thinking and perspective and I managed to break the cycle of worry and climbed on board a different bike. I had found my warrior.
As a warrior, you fight the problem.
I worry a bit now and again but for the vast bulk of the time, I’m in warrior mode and I like it! This feels so much better!
I wake up with a genuine sense of excitement each and every day. I am confident that I will have a good day. I know I’m going to come across challenges but I know I’ll be able to overcome them.
I now narrate my own positive script and help others do the same.
And the difference? I changed my label. I stopped saying I was a worrier and I declared myself a warrior.
Focus on those vowels as there is nothing worse than Irritable Vowel Syndrome (IVS)!
When you start this simple change, you start to empower yourself and begin to handle life with strength and resilience.
You define you. You start to triumph. You become a warrior. You keep being a warrior.
Don’t see yourself as a worrier, see yourself as a warrior and you will become stronger. Act the part. Be the part.
Keep at it. Every single day without fail.
Ring your own bell, ring the changes and awaken the sleeping warrior within you.
Shift those vowels! Change two letters and see the difference. When you limit your worries, you become a warrior.