Thank you for reading Part One, Part Two and Part Three of my ABCs Of Cancer.
Here’s Part Four of my ABCs Of Cancer.
A is for agathist. You might not be an optimist. You might not be a pessimist. You might therefore occupy the middle ground between the two. If that’s you, then you’ll be an agathist. An agathist accepts elements of both optimism and pessimism seeing the world as a place where headaches, hassles and hurdles abound, but not forever, as things will come right in the end.
B is for balloon moment. You might think your whole world has gone pop but we can still make a positive impact on all those around us. A special moment where we positively shape another person’s life is a balloon moment. It is where we say something or do something that makes someone else’s life fundamentally better. It’s like presenting them with a balloon – it makes them smile, it makes them happy.
C is for conversation. It really helps to talk about cancer and then again it really doesn’t. Go with how you feel and do what is right for you. There is no right or wrong way. If you want to have a robust, passionate and unbridled powwow then go for it. If you prefer to just say nothing, no one is authorised to judge you.
D is for determination. With cancer treatment, your determination can wax and wane. Some days you have it and other days it’s just not there. You mustn’t expect miracles immediately. Your determination to live will see you through.
E is for eucatastrophe. JRR Tolkien coined the word ‘eucatastrophe’ to describe a sudden and surprising turn for the better. The word comes from the Greek prefix eu- meaning “good” and ‘catastrophe’ meaning “sudden turn”. Unexpected responses to treatments, miraculous transformations and real eucatastrophes do happen. Always hope for the positive plot twist.
F is for Free-Range Optimism (FRO). Being a FRO allows your mind to roam free and peck at the positives wherever you can find them. FROs nip at crumbs of positivity, tap at scraps hope and jab at granules of gorgeousness if the opportunities present themselves. Cancer means you take what you can.
G is for gunnen. This Dutch word means experiencing happiness in the happiness of others without envy. It’s so easy for us to feel bitter but we still have the capacity to generate happiness, experience happiness and delight in the happiness of others.
H is for hardiness. When we talk about hardiness in people, we mean the ability to tolerate extremely challenging situations, survive and even thrive. Considering the inherent adversity we have to endure during cancer treatment such as stress, fatigue, anxiety, and fears, hardiness is a key characteristic that can minimise the impact of these stressors. If you dig deep, you will find hardiness. Acting with hardiness enables hardiness to grow stronger.
I is for ikiru chikara. A Japanese phrase which literally means “power to live”, but is also translated as “zest for living”. Cancer might try and rob us of our vital energy but it can also give us the power to live far beyond what we did before a diagnosis.
J is for jam-packed. Don’t worry if your day isn’t one where you are completing another 5 things from your bucket list. Days don’t have to be full of anything other than enjoying the moments wherever you are.
K is for kainotophobia. A fear of change or newness is what comes when you get a cancer diagnosis and there is not much you can do about it because it is forced upon you. The new territories you will find yourself in will frighten you and take you by surprise but they aren’t all bad. Some will become your new comfort zones.
L is for living in limbo. When you’ve had a scan, this is the place you occupy – limbo land. It’s a strange and uncertain space to hang out in because your mind goes all over the shop and plays tricks with your optimism.
M is for Merchant of Moxie. To get through any of life’s challenges and moments of madness then we need bucket loads of moxie. This is about being a positive energiser who show dauntlessness, pluckiness and mettle. They have force of character and are full of grit and gumption. As a cancer patient, it helps to develop the moxie mindset because you need plenty of grit, gumption, nerve and daring courage.
N is for news. What do you do when you get some good news? Punch the air? Jump for joy? Open a bottle of bubbly? Probably all three and who can blame you?! The thing is, with cancer, it’s not that simple. With cancer, you are never really out of the woods so you might want to temper any good news you might get and ‘maintain an even strain’. This is another way of saying stay grounded, keep it together and don’t get too excited.
O is for ODAAT. Regardless of who you are and your unique circumstances you can only really take things ODAAT – One Day At A Time. Tomorrow will come when it’s good and ready. Cancer is sometimes minute by minute and getting through the best you can. Being a ODAATer is taking each day as it comes, no guilt attached. Taking things day by day makes sense. Don’t overthink it.
P is for pace. You can go at things like there’s no tomorrow or you can pace yourself and slow down. You know what you can do and what you can’t so if you are feeling energised, go for it but if you feel all in, go and have a nap.
Q is for quake. This is the sort of behaviour you do in your boots. Rest assured though, being afraid is a normal response to having cancer and nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve experienced one big earthquake and you wonder if they’ll be anymore.
R is for Red Carpet. When you have cancer treatment should you get a bit of the ‘red carpet treatment’ too? Of course you should! The need to feel valued and special is a basic human need. We all need it. If no one is going to roll out the red carpet for you, roll it out for yourself.
S is for self-talk. How do you master your inner dialogue after an incurable cancer diagnosis? You don’t – you just learn to be less afraid, root yourself in hope, pump the positives, slog it out, and hit the repeat button. What you say to yourself is how you shape your world. Words are powerful. Positive self-talk isn’t just a coping strategy, it’s a way of life that finds its natural home in a higher optimism where any little wins are celebrated however small.
T is for training. You might not think training for treatment is even a thing but the better prepared you are helps set your mindset and get your body ready. Exercising is important before and after treatment and can help your presilience, resilience and recovery.
U is for undimnished. Cancer will make you feel weaker and smaller but that just can’t happen, not on your watch! You remain undiminished and will report for duty as long as it takes.
V is for verberate. Your intention is to lash, beat, or whip your illness and with that attitude you most certainly stand a very good chance.
W is for who? Who do you turn to when you are told you have cancer? Just as Mr Rogers advises, we look for the helpers. When we look for the helpers and look at all those that can make the world of cancer a less scary place, we can breathe a sigh of relief and know we are not alone.
X is for Xanadu. Always have a beautiful and idyllic place that you can go to either in your mind or in person. You need somewhere to escape to. You deserve somewhere to escape to. Make your Xanadu your space to recover.
Y is for yomp. The whole cancer experience is a slog across difficult terrain. Yomping is what will get you from A to B.
Z is for zoetic. This word means living or vital and that is exactly what you are. Like a zoetrope, you can give life and vitality to the black squiggles.