Some people like to tell cancer to ‘do one’.
Others go further and use the ‘F’ word.
They use the ‘F*ck cancer’ message and #fuckcancer as a loudspeaker to tell the world how crap cancer is. And it is.
That’s great – we are entitled to use whatever words we want.
Swear words are a way to communicate and F-bombs can channel the rage we feel towards cancer into some sort of collective action.
The F bomb is cathartic, it’s an emotional outlet and can actually be good for your health.
But I think we all know how rubbish cancer is without resorting to a sexual expletive.
But I get it.
People are quite rightly angry. I’m more than angry that I have incurable cancer but telling ‘it’ to F off isn’t going to help me. It’s the same as telling yourself to go ‘F’ yourself. It’s part of you and it’s part of the biology of who we are.
I don’t begrudge those that get it off their chests in their own way (there is no formula or one size fits all) but for me there is an alternative and a much more positive narrative to follow.
I say this because the ‘F’ cancer message doesn’t work for all cancer sufferers and it isn’t appropriate for children and teenagers.
Cancer is not an exclusively adult narrative and there are better ways of communicating.
The ‘F’ word can sound like you mean business and it is inherently aggressive but it makes me feel really uncomfortable. It cheapens and degrades the message. It also makes money but not in the way you would hope.
For example, the F Cancer message is actually big business and there is now a whole industry devoted to this it with merchandising galore.
You can buy T-shirts, hoodies, caps, socks, mugs, journals, bath bombs, jewellery, Christmas ornaments, dog collars and even children’s teddies! (tell me how that’s okay?)
And there’s plenty more ‘merch’ besides. These are often marketed and sold under the banner of ‘raising awareness’ and lead us to believe that they are raising a stink about cancer (and yes, some definitely do).
But there are some making a lot of money out of cancer and they aren’t doing it for charity – it’s a business.
Some of the money generated by some might go to a cancer charity but in lots of cases, from what I’ve seen, it isn’t, not even a percentage donation. That’s ruthless.
So, the F Cancer message is a bit messed up. You can say it, you can buy the merchandise and you can go around telling cancer and the world to F itself whilst raising a middle finger.
Not great for kids. Not great for adults either.
Children can choose their own role models but I’d hope we can set an example of how to deal with cancer in words that don’t stir up toxicity and hatred (the world has enough of that already). We don’t need more potty mouths!
I do hate cancer, it’s ruined my career and life in so many ways but we can tackle this thing with dignity, grace and positive power.
And I don’t buy into the F*ck cancer message as being an integral part of the zoomer’s vocabulary even if the Pope doesn’t mind.
In other parts of life we get very precious about the F word being used so why is it so acceptable when we talk about cancer?
We don’t ever see F*ck Dementia or F*Heart Disease do we?
I have a different set of ‘F’ words that I think represent the experience of having cancer and the way we manage it.
Cancer patients are:
- Formidable
- Fiery
- Fearless
- Flexible
- Fervent
- Focused
- Firm
- Future-oriented
- Flourishing
- Forceful
- Fizzy
- Fortitudinous
- Fighters
- Fun
As Susan Sparks (2023) reminds us, there is another F word that we can turn to and that’s faith. She says that “Faith is what brings the fight.”
The “F word” really is the best way to approach a cancer diagnosis but choose your words carefully. Other F words are available.
If it works for you, great. But it’s not a message a buy into and I’m not funding someone else’s lifestyle in the process and being exploited.